BERMUDA

My friend Casey (the one I recently visited in San Francisco - See April 16, 2008 blog) is getting married this summer. This past weekend was her bachelorette party in BERMUDA! I love a good party and I love to travel, so I was super excited.

The only problem is its kind of a hassle to get to BERMUDA from the West Coast! Most of the other girls were traveling from New York which is just a hop, skip and a jump from BERMUDA. To try to make the most of my trip, I booked the overnight flight Thursday to New York with a connection to BERMUDA arriving at noon (leaving plenty of time to hit the beach!)

I arrived at the airport early, but nearly missed the flight! I’m such an idiot! I didn’t know you need a passport to fly to BERMUDA (a British territory just off the coast of North Carolina). Thank heavens for my roommate Dara who had driven me to the airport. She raced back home like a bat out of hell, found my passport on my desk and drove back to the airport. I got it just in time (actually 7 minutes late) to check my bag. With some begging and a couple tosses of $20 bills (I’m not a huge tipper, but there are times that you have to use the resources you have and this was one of them) my bag finally got checked in.

I was issued a boarding pass, seat 22E. UGH! A middle seat in coach for an overnight flight is about as close to HELL as you can get. I whined a little bit, but got over it as I dreamt of my destination (I didn’t sleep a wink)!

I dragged my ass off the plane in New York, washed my face in the bathroom and immediately administered an IV of Coffee and dose of Bagels to my body. Ha Ha! I met up with Sarah (also known as Kennedy) who had already hunkered down at the gate (she must have been excited too because she had arrived way early at the crack of dawn)! Jane and Annie arrived next, followed closely by Casey (the soon to be bride) and Sarah H.

We boarded the (tiny) plane and made our quick and bumpy trip to BERMUDA. As we flew in, I gazed out the window at the blue/green water and pink sand beaches (FABULOUS!) BUT the skies where grey and the clouds dark and gloomy (UGH!)

We made our way through customs, gathered our bags and headed out into the rain to start the party (nothing was gonna hold these ladies back from having a blast)! The cab took us straight to The Swizzle Inn where we met up with two more girls (Carrie also known as Chippy and Alexis). We gorged ourselves on nachos, French fries and swizzles by the pitcher (a heavenly combo of dark rum, pineapple, lime and orange juices) and more swizzles!

After we were feeling good and full (and buzzed), we hopped in a cab to the Coco Reef hotel. We checked into our pink rooms where we bunked up in groups of three (my room-mates were Annie and Jane). We changed into our bikinis (I wore my yellow polka dot one) and cover-ups even though it was still drizzling out.

We walked the beach, swam in the frigid pool and had cocktails and snacks at Elbow Beach Club next door. As the evening approached, we returned to our room to shower and change for the night’s festivities.

The evening started out with pre-dinner cocktails back at the Elbow Beach Club then we headed down to the beach for dinner at Elbow Mickey’s. Betsey (Casey’s sister) and Meghan (very pregnant) arrived just in time for dinner. We shared delicious appetizers then I ate a very yummy penne arrabiata!

After dinner, we headed back up to the lobby bar where the tunes where bumping! It was Latin night. We sat and sipped cocktails as we watch the sweaty dancers swing and gyrate to the beats. Everyone was worn out from the day of travel, so we opted to head back to the hotel to rest up for the sunny day ahead (we all prayed)! As we waited for the cab, a flash of light flew by. Annie had high-jacked a golf cart and was flying around the hotel driveway. The bellmen stood with their mouths agape, security waved her down and we howled with laughter and nearly peed our pants. (The lesson here: Do NOT leave the keys in unattended golf carts when silly girls are around!) Eventually the golf cart was parked and we got a cab back to the hotel. I was exhausted from my minimal sleep on the airplane, so I passed out in my sad little fold out cot while the rest of the gang giggled and ate candy.

We woke to clear skies and a shining sun. I hopped in my bikini (a Salina’s striped one) and headed to the complimentary breakfast where I gorged myself on bacon (I love bacon), eggs, bread and cheese, coffee, more coffee and water. Good and full, I rolled down to the beach to bask in the sun. The last of the girls (Lizzie) arrived. I laid on my back reading my book (Are you There Vodka. It’s Me, Chelsea, BY Chelsea Handler). We did (silly) bikini photo shoots on the rocks, caught up on the gossip mags and chatted in the sun.

We ate lunch at Elbow Mickey’s again (where we spotted Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas) then hit the beach for a bit more sun before getting ready for the sunset cruise with Sail Bermuda. In this crowd, I looked seriously, scandalous dressed in my off the shoulder blue mini-dress and surrounded by a sea of Lily Pulitzer and Tory Burch (West coast fashion is soooo different than the East coast)!

We boarded the sailboat with Mike, our bearded captain at the helm and set sail around Bermuda. We sipped rum swizzles and beers as the sun set over the water. Betsey had asked Greg (the groom-to-be) to answer a bunch of questions. We took turns asking Casey and checking if the answers matched. We giggled at the funny ones (“If Casey was a lollipop, which flavor would she be?”) and swooned at the romantic ones (God, I want a husband! Still looking…)

A rope on the main sail broke, so we slowly cruised around the bay with the sad little motor humming. The ladies belted the “The hills are alive with the sound of music” (Casey loves the Sound of Music. I’m not a huge fan so I did NOT sing) as I pole danced on the jib sail mast (Aren’t we the wildest bachelorette party around! Where the hell are the strippers?)

When we returned to the main land, we headed to Fresco for dinner where we sat at a big table in the wine cellar. Our handsome waiter, Scott came to tell us the specials and the hootenanny began! We howled like hyenas while harassing poor Scott (who was loving it btw). We shared a champagne toast followed by delicious wines and food. I ate the vegetable soup of the day and a yummy steak!

After our main course, we thought it would be a good idea to turn the lights off and hide under the table. We laughed till our stomachs hurt and tears were running down our cheeks (Maybe we were a little drunk! Ha ha!) Poor pregnant Meghan was not amused, but handsome Scott seemed thoroughly entertained. We finished off the evening by singing a slightly dirty version on 12 days of Christmas dedicated to one of the other restaurant patrons named Deckland. (Nothing is better than entertaining yourselves with a good laugh with good friends!)

Next we headed to Café Cairo, the BERMUDA hotspot for some dancing. We rocked the dance floor and I taught the ladies my sexy dance (sorta like dropping it like its hot). Casey ran away from an old man who wanted to grind, Lizzie and Jane wooed some locals and we even started a conga line! Dripping with sweat from our serious dance moves, we finally headed home to bed. I snuggled into my cot dreaming of one more day (well… half day) in the sun!

We woke early, shoveled some breakfast into our mouths and headed straight to the beach to catch some rays. After a bit of sun, a quick dip in the ocean and a shower, sadly it was time to head to the airport. We arrived just in time to make the checked bag cutoff and made our way through customs where security seemed to know us (Is the island that small? Or are we just that loud? Ha ha!) We ate squares of pizza (terrible!) and hunkered down at the gate to wait for boarding.

“Flight 232 to New York has been cancelled do to engine trouble,” The loud speaker gurgled and the rush to the gate began. People were frantic and yelling. Most of the gals finally made it on other planes, but Annie, Kennedy and I were left stranded in BERMUDA for one more night (Poor us!) We waited patiently, but eventually it seemed like we would never leave the airport. But the sun was shining and if we were gonna be stuck here for another night better to enjoy it! We called American Airlines and were able to book ourselves on a flight the following afternoon. We collected hotel vouchers and our bags (which took forever) then headed to The Grottos, a very schnazzy hotel (even nicer than Coco Reef where we had stayed)!

We checked in and headed straight to the pool where I ordered a Caesar salad and a swizzle and chatted with our very handsome pilot (who had saved our lives by not flying us in a plane with engine trouble)! We basked in the sun till sunset then showered and changed for dinner. We ate at the cute hotel restaurant where everything was paid for by American Airlines (I was in heaven!) I ate French onion soup, Thai chicken lettuce cups and a volcano cake with ice cream (YUM!)

Worn out from the bachelorette shenanigans (and sitting in the airport all day), we headed to bed early where I slept peacefully in a normal size bed. I woke up early and the other girls were still sleeping, so I headed to breakfast by myself (also free). I made my own omelet, ate tons of bacon and bread and cheese and drank coffee, OJ and water (Gotta make the most of a free meal! Ha ha!) I rolled to the beach and read my book and mags till the girls joined me. We swam in the ocean, took pics of fish and Annie snorkeled to the tiny shipwreck right off shore. What a great extra day in BERMUDA (Lucky us!)

Time ticked away quickly and soon it was time to get ready to head home. This time we boarded our plane with no difficulties and arrived in New York (after a lay over in Boston) rested, tanned and feeling FABULOUS (Except Annie because they lost her bag along the way).

BERMUDA is FABULOUS!